There was a boy who wanted to go out for recess. His teacher asked, "First tell me your ABC's".

That night, the kid asks his mother "What're my ABC's?" She says, "Shut up!"

He asks his sister the same question. She says, "yeah, yeah".

He asks his brother his ABC's. The broter, who was reading comics, said, "Superman!"

The boy asks his father his ABC's. The father, who had just lost his job, said, "Crap."

The next day, the teacher asked the boy his ABC's. He said "Shut up"

She said "Do you want to go to the principal's office?" He said, "yeah, yeah."

In the principal's office, the principal demanded, "Who do you think you are?" The boy yelled, "Superman!"

The principal said, "What do you think this school is made out of?" The boy answered, "Crap."


Man calls home.

Maid answers phone.

He says, "Can I speak to my wife?"

She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend."

He's maid--says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun. Go upstairs and kill them both."

Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok."

5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "Ok, they're both dead. What should I do with the bodies?"

He says, "Throw them in the pool, and I'll take care of them when I get home."

She says, "We don't have a pool."

He asks, "Is this 555-8372?"

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